Outsiders Row!

Maharashtra Navnirman Sena is the latest offering from Shiv Sena's Stable. Shiv Sena with their moral policing has reached great heights. When the architect gets old, the architecture doesn't or may be is does sometimes. Here the architecture is intact with a new architect in Raj (Should I include the complete name?). Thanks to Raj for supporting the cause of Maharashtrians in Mumbai. Mumbai, they say is India's financial center and not Maharashtra's! or Is there any ambiguity in that very fact? When you want gold from the rest of the country, you get garbage as well with it. Its kinda quite an irony for me to listen to all this uproar. The city has reached greater heights with its people as its stepping stones and when it is f***ing tall, you say you wanna disregard the ladder's rungs alone. Mind you, you will fall one day. You want the highest investment outlay from GOI for every f***ing financial year , you want all the public sector entities to set up shop there, you want every industry from every field to set up shop there, you want the entire country's economy dependent on you, you want it to be India's Los Angeles, New York and Nairobi put together and you wouldn't mind if its called India's London or Moscow or Hong kong or Dubai by mistake, you wouldn't care if its branded polluted, populated and rickety but you only care to call the people outsiders. That shows your greatness, completely. You ask for everything because of the quantity you have and not quality. Mind it. People created opportunities and people gain from opportunities. People created cities and the f***ing cities never created people, or did you say it did? Let me tell you what, if you want Mumbai to be India's financial center then Mumbai belongs to India and if you doesn't want that, then get your ass off from that pole position. There are others waiting impatiently.

Just for the sake of gaining political mileage, people end up doing crap. May be that is a serious, important and menacing crap, but it's crap after all!!!

pretty strange world out there. Is it?

Its a pretty strange world we are in or may be its me who is strange in this not so strange world. This question strikes me every time I come across any bloody f***ing issue. Take this for instance. I was thinking of going behind a girl and by the time I decided to go, I realized that there are a score of others already there! Somehow, I joined the club, may be not so conspicuous but a little too careful. By the time I reached a little closer, I came to know that she is going behind someone else! That was quite an issue for me to digest. Well, I did digest that. (What else you want me to do being a f***ing image conscious kid) By the time, I digested that, I figured out that there are many more girls behind that guy. That sounded like an oasis for me. May be there was some water in there. So , I never lost my track and was always on my toes but a little away I stood and was just watching things from a distance. By the time I was watching, I came to know that the guy was behind many other girls. well! well! well! Do you still want me to continue the story. I stopped going behind the girl and started thinking. Are the entire world into this game with me being one of the left out kid? Am I in a bigger pie or a smaller pie? I probably prefer myself in the smaller pie and I am almost convinced that I am in the same. You know why, its because I never went behind that girl or to be more precise, I never explored the issue as such. I concluded that the world is completely normal and I am so f***ing strange. Yes, I am and I am not complaining. But it is so funny to be strange. Yes, it is for others. Did I say its for me. Nah nah nah..for others. What if it is, I am strange and I am f***ing happy. A little at least. :D

An Elegy- better late than never

You talk with someone whom you know but not really very much but still you know. You also know that that someone knows you but not at what length or depth. Both of us know each other from childhood but the friendship remains at the same level. Nobody ever tried to reach out but for one day when that someone did that and I never followed suit. I was wary of it, I would say. But then, you know I was like , alright, you are not gonna lose anything, its gonna be friendship after all. I just followed my instincts. I followed suit and kept talkin with that someone and you find that that someone is more like you and you never know if that someone pretends or really is because you just talk and do not see. You talk like you talk to everyone else and that someone laps it up and you think that someone is not so open but so good to you. You feel your friendship with that someone is getting thicker but that someone puts you in a bigger volume eventually reducing the thickness. But you never knew this. One day that someone suddenly disappears, out of this world she goes. Oops, I blurted out the gender! She's gone for things that she didn't get in this world, forgetting things that she got here. She's gone in search of bliss. She's gone forever. There was no god's play in that or may be there was. May be for me she was a friend, a good one, for her I do not know where I stand because she never shared anything of sorts that I did. May be she was pretty confused, may be I was her outlet for joy, or may be it is otherwise, may be she is onna of a kind, a rare breed though. Onna of a kind. She made me think! She made me think about what others think. Really she did.

For you Divya. God bless this world and worldly affairs.

A box of chocolates!

Life is box of chocolates. You never know which one you gonna get. Every time I try to pick one, I pick something different. Somethings are sweet whereas the others are sour or may be bitter but they are chocolates after all. Its a mix of joy and sorrow. I am served with all the ingredients all the time. None of it has been exceeding the other. A minute of joy brings a minute of sorrow!

To celebrate joy is life or to accept sorrow is life? or is it both? You never get time to do both. By the time you start celebrating your joy you end up in sorrow or the vice versa. None of them is eternal.

Joy or sorrow depends on the way we look at it. Its just being optimistic or pessimistic, that makes the difference. Walk ahead and cherish anything that lies behind.

Its easy to preach but difficult to practice. I have been trying to practice but not more than trying!!

I Miss Myself

(Read through and tell me if I sound philosophical or foolish)

What I was yesterday is not what I am today! Tomorrow, I will be not what I am today. Is it a question of yesterday, today and tomorrow or is it question of what I am? Which one does make sense? Can anybody sense the difference? Is the days that just roll on or is it I who go over the days? Is it the time that moves on or I move over a time frame? Is there anything constant in this world or are they relative?
For every day, there is a yesterday and may be tomorrow. Why is this tomorrow not certain? Is it because I will not be there for tomorrow or the tomorrow is not for me? Which one does make sense? Can anybody sense the difference?
I look at the past, I yearn for a future, my feet are in the present. Should I remember the past or should I not? Should I dream for a future or should I not? Should I enjoy the present or should I not? Which one is important?
If I am in one phase then I wouldn't be in any other. Does the past make any sense without present and future? or does the present make sense without the other two? or the future for that matte? Tell me which one reigns and which one doesn't?
What decides my past, present and future? Is it me, my soul or my mind? or Is it anything out of my reach? Who is me here? Is it my body? my Soul? or my mind? Are all these combined to form the me in me or is it just a part of me? Whoever is me, what is that which is out of my reach? Is that you call god or is that your own conscience? What is that?
Does your mind know the things that happens to you? Is your mind a storage device that makes you conscious of things at the right time or if not, what is that?

In the struggle to figure out who I am ? What I am? and When am I ? I know one thing for sure, that I miss myself anytime. I just miss myself. Let yesterday,today and tomorrow be there or may be I stay in all, I just miss myself. I miss the past in present and present in the future. I just miss myself!

(Do I make sense or not? Just answer the questions as you read and look for answers. If you understand the things that were going in my mind, You won't understand your mind or Do you? Just see what you know and know what you see.)

American Summer- Dawn to Dusk

(This post is written in a conversation style narrating jus what I did all this summer)

Not me: Brother! what is American summer by the way?
Me: Oh man! doesn't you know that, that's actually something I wanted to say about nothing I did this summer! If you are by any chance ignorant, I spent my summer in US of A. That must justify the topic I guess.
Not me: Oh boy! ....so you mean to say you gonna show off!!! LOL
Me: Damn you! this is not show off, this is a true story of an Indian guy facing the intense heat of joblessness and boredom in the land of F#$&#$.
Not me: Oh! Is it! That sounds pretty interesting. So better start over.
Me: Here I go!
One fine day in the month of May, there came an end to the exams, well ! just for that spring! I had a dream then, a dream that laid out a future for me, a dream that lead me to success, a dream that was a dream for ever,LOL, what else it can be when it's induced rather than viewed.

Damn! Every morning I woke up at a time that was an afternoon for every other. The only thing I felt when I got up was that I am hungry like a stray dog, but then a glimpse of my laptop used to stop me, it used to smile at me invitingly. I am just a mortal, so what I do, just open up and browse, Orkut! the first thing that struck my mind and behindwoods! the second, Indiaglitz! the third, Oh no! I gotta check my school e-mail! Again the same, I didn't get that job! Damn that job, that employer! F&%$ them.

All said and done, damn! Things used to crop up slowly, I gotta eat, before that I gotta brush, I gotta shit, I gotta bath! and for all that I gotta get up! I used do all stuff with the quickness of a buffalo and interest of a software engineer! I eat then with a series of thoughts in my mind, about my so called dreams. So here I go analyzing, Why I got that dream? What for? and What I infer? then i realize they are nothing but my wishes. Wishes as dreams, Oh no! I suck! I realize they are induced.

Not me: So what next?

Me: Good question, I must say. Then comes the thought of school, then the research, then the bastard, my prof, then money. Oops! A chill went down my spine! Then comes the question of going to school or to stay at home? I know I won't study at home, even then I wanna change that habit. So decided to stay at home and study. LOL. I take the book, I think about my professor, I get irritated, so what next....yes, you guessed right. I stopped studying and started browsing. I never knew What I used to browse until the evening, but that somehow kept me engaged. Then comes the evening, felt like having tea, yes I do had one. I used to think about playing, I call people, enquire about their availability. so what next? You guessed wrong...I used to play and I play until I get tired. Wow. That's the one and only useful thing I did every day.

I used to come back home, tired. After a short bath I used to eat...watch a movie..chat with friends..so what next? I sleep, what else. The cycle kept on continuing, its high time that I get out of this routine. I was like this for the last two months. Damn me. I suck. Big time.

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Well, things either won't happen or jus happens in a jiffy. Last two months there was no sign of any changes. But then a hell lot of things happened in just a week. I changed advisor, shifted apartment, went to linkin park concert, boozed a lot on saturday, and to end it all went to temple on sunday. So thats it. I am charged up for the new assignment. Let me hope for the best.

What the heck?

You wanna know the impact of movies in India or rather, impact of actors/actresses in India? Its evident from the way they support the cause of a jailed actor more than they did for India's Ex-President. What the heck? Are we mad? Are we out of mind? What material we are made of? What species of humans are we? Shame on us. Yes, we are mad about movies. Yes, we cannot hold our thoughts together. And finally to put it, we are one strange species of humans who always go for things which aren't worth it by any means.

We have the habit of glorifying the undeserved. Period. We are at extremes always. We either praise or swear. We either glorify or ditch. We love gossips. We believe gossips. We always have no time for good. On the contrary we have plenty for things which are of no good. We glorify actors and not freedom fighters. We glorify politicians and not politics. We are never moderate. We are completely mired in these stuff. Its difficult to get out even If one wants to. So in a nutshell, we either suck or suck hard. We kept sucking, we suck now and we shall follow the legacy forever.

Brother! you know what? This is India, it has been like that for years and it will be the same here after.

Long live India. Let Indianism take over the world. Amen.